As a Pastor, at some point in ministry you will be asked to speak at a Saturday Men's Prayer Breakfast...
As a public service, here is a good bacon joke to open your message...(disclaimer: I did hear several boo's after telling this joke, be prepared)
A starving boy goes to a wise man and says,
"Wise man, I am very hungry I need food."
The wise man tells the boy
to trek across the forest and on the other side there will be a bacon tree. The
starving boy treks across the forest for hours until he sees a small tree with
pigs hanging from the branches. As he goes to grab one of the pigs there is
suddenly gunfire and bullets flying everywhere. The starving boy goes back to
the wise man and says, "I found the bacon tree but there was gunfire
everywhere!" The wise man says, 'I'm sorry boy, that was no bacon tree,
that was a hambush." (found on Reddit.com)